My mama says ...

Forrest Mikhail Stavrosovich Gumpsky here decided to go to war against Jax without covering his own flanks. And was genuinely outraged when Jax kicked him in the ass. Perhaps Forrest was too busy turning himself inside out to win his skank of a mother's love. Or maybe Nik Gumpksy was lightheaded from sucking up to the Spencer half of him. Or perhaps he was distracted by having his lips pressed so firmly to Luke's backside. I don't know.

What I do know is that for quite a while now the character of Nikolas Cassadine has become something that leaves a bitter aftertaste in the mouth of this Cassadine fan. He has abandoned anything in his life, behavior, and demeanor that hints of Cassadine and/or Europe. He speaks with disdain of the family that reared and loved (yes, loved) him for the first eighteen-plus years of his life, yet stands at the Spencer family doorstep like a proverbial beggar, pride and self-respect in hand.

It almost makes me glad Stefan isn't a part of this GH canvas. He'd just be written as Nikolas' whipping boy. And I couldn't take that. Cause Stefan's love for this little PAB would only lead him to forgive Nikolas' every slight.

If I had a fan's wish episode, I would bring another young Cassadine onto the scene. He would be proud of his heritage, determined to avenge Stefan's death, and hell-bent on seeing that Nikolas' little bastard never led the family. Not with a name like Spencer.

And oh, yeah. This new Cassadine would fall for Lainey.

Please Read the Bottom Line for Me...

It must be nice to view one's past through the rose-colored glasses worn by the characters on General Hospital. I mean, if the past becomes inconvenient or embarrassing, then just change it!

I listened to Laura tell RuRu, sorry... Lulu all about her time on that horrible island with that horrible man calling himself Nikolas' father. According to Laura, the only thing that gave her peace and hope (and cured any Cassadine cooties) was going to the nursery and breathing in her darling Nikolas' scent. Well, wow! How did she repay this helpless infant she adored so much? First chance she got she fled the island. ALONE. BY HERSELF. WITHOUT HER HELPLESS BABY.

Skank. And speaking of skanks, what was that load of bull Sam McCall was shoveling the other day? Ric Lansing tricked her into throwing her legs up over his shoulders and clawing his back while she screamed his name? Man, that guy is wily!

I know I shouldn't expect more. After all, this is the show that spun a rapist into a romantic figure, that cheered Carly on while she chastised her husband Jax who had been sexually assaulted by his kidnapper. This is also the show that parades Robin Scorpio as some sort of symbol, the woman who has the nerve to lecture Patrick Drake about ANYTHING when she once played house with the brain-dead hitman and the baby she knew he stole from his brother.

Yeah, rose-colored glasses are great. I'm being fitted for some even as we speak.

Talk to Me Like I'm the President

Okay... Tell me again why General Hospital can't write for the character of Lainey?

Oh, cause they don't know how to write 'Black'.

Well, they can write Coleman. No, he's not black. And that is exactly the point. Coleman is written as a bar owner. Period. And he gets to show his face on the screen. There's no rush to tell us about his personal life or his ethnic background or his beliefs on race or hell.. his beliefs on anything substantial. Coleman just... is.

I could substitute the name Max or Milo or even Diane or Nadine or... well you get the picture. None of these characters has had their inner workings examined. They just show up on screen in relation to the jobs they do. So tell me why the same can't be done for Lainey. Lainey - the Psychiatrist. The only one they have on this show full of dysfunctional, crazy-a$$ people.

Yeah, I'd like something more substantial for her. But I'd settle for getting her face on the screen like Coleman and Max and Nadine and Diane and Kate Howard's assistant and Carly's nanny and ...

Well, I think you get my point. Too bad General Hospital doesn't.

The Taming of the Shrew

Shrew: A woman with a scolding, or nagging temperament.

On General Hospital, the word shrew could fit just about any of the female characters on the show. But for the sake of this post, I'm just gonna apply it to one female - Robin Scorpio.


I happened to kinda watch General Hospital the other day (much like I only watch it most of the time, but I digress) and I saw Robin Scorpio throw about words like 'my baby', 'my child', 'me...me...me'. Poor henpecked Patrick couldn't even get a word in edgewise, much less make any declarations about his part in the life of the child they created TOGETHER.

Yeah, yeah, I know... He didn't want to be a father and said so in no uncertain terms. Well, guess what? Patrick admitted his error and is trying to step up for his unborn child. Except that doesn't fit into Robin's plans so she's just steamrolling ahead with what SHE wants.

Does that sound familiar? 'Cause I recall Robin being perfectly happy to play house with Jason and the demonseed named Michael. Until Jason had the nerve to do something she hadn't given her approval to and so she took her toys and went home.

Why am I rehashing old history you ask? I guess cause I'm tired of Robin being referred to as the single example of shining womanhood on General Hospital. As though she is anything that anyone would want to imitate.

Robin.... just shut up.

I thought that I would get back into the swing of this by talking about Jason and Carly and their highly dysfunctional 'friendship'. But then I read that the character of Lainey was being demoted. Kent King is now on recurring status. That doesn't surprise me, but it does make me even more disillusioned with the powers at GH. Apparently we can have scores of other new characters (like Nadine) who get to interact with established characters like Nikolas, or other new characters (like Leyla) who get to interact with folks like Patrick and Robin and are even rumored to be getting a mother in the near future... but Kent's character can't even be seen on screen.

When Nikolas was talking to the air and humping the sofa cushions thinking they were Emily, did anyone even suggest that he speak to a psychiatrist (like Lainey)? Did anyone suggest a psychiatrist (like Lainey) offer to help Carly and family through this trying time with the demonseed? No, it was simpler to write her out. Cause they don't know how to write 'black'.

What a shame. No one's life on this show is realistic and that doesn't seem to be a problem for the show's execs. Too bad they've decided to use that excuse as a reason not to utilize a young woman who can, gasp, actually act.

Go figure.